Dear Spider Who Builds Its Web Across the Door to My Backyard,
You are lucky that I’m an entomologist. Most people, after running face first into your terribly inconveniently placed web in the dark, probably wouldn’t have just backed away and looked to see where you were. While I will admit that I was quite happy to learn that you weren’t in my hair, nearly any other person probably would have tried to kill you after discovering you lurking up near the roof. Instead, I took down one little support from your web and squeezed out the door around the rest, leaving you be. I was sorry to see that you were back tonight, even though by now you should know better than to build your web across the back door. Don’t you know that large mammals walk often through that area? I did snap a few photos, true, and flashed bright lights in your eyes, but look how cute you look:
That was worth a few bright lights, right?
Please note that continued web construction across the only rear exit from my house may result in relocation to the front of the house. There, you will have to compete with other spider of your kind who has been building a web across the walkway to the front door.
The Dragonfly Woman